I was afraid to be sexy, but more afraid not to be.
“I was pretty reserved before and didn’t really let too much of my personality come out. I was too embarrassed to put my sexy confidence & adventurous side out. I had seen what Benizo had done for others and was certain he could help me let go of whatever was holding me down. I was nervous. But somehow he made it seem effortless to be me and let go.”
My greatest fear was being me, but I learned that was the sexiest part.
During my reign as Miss Indiana USA I felt a lot of pressure to live up to an image that wasn’t me. I had worked so hard to get to this stage and now that I was there I couldn’t wear the gown I wanted, or shoot with my edge-photographer. I lost my edge and went to nationals feeling lost and defeated and it showed.
Having a beauty title isn't easy, it sometimes requires silencing your inner voice for the image you are standing for.
Overall I learned that feeling guilty can give others power over you. You may sacrifice your voice to keep others happy in the short term, but in the long term you’re the one that has to end up living with your decisions. You should never feel guilty being true to yourself, or flaunting your sex appeal in front of the mirror, or for a camera.
Where they drew the line as too sexy, is where I wanted to begin.
Everyone would try to stop me from being me, and I can say it was the most horrible feeling. Especially during my year as Miss Indiana. It felt the pressure but having Benizo as a mentor, coach, friend made me resist giving into what others wanted me to be and to never sacrifice my own intuition.
My 3 Takeaways
- Stay true to yourself and if you're lucky you'll come across someone like Ben who won't accept you any other way.
- If you feel alone when you're being attacked for being too sexy just remember you're not. Everyone who pushes limits is going to be judged - that's just the way it is. Just don't give those who contributed to holding others down be the one's to take credit for setting you free. Benizo is 100% about letting you be you.
- You'll never regret posing for an artist like Benizo. He cares about your well-being and freedom of expression more than anything in the world. And you'll always love the new level you reached. It gets under the skin and reveals something extraordinary.
"Thank you for always caring and making sure I was comfortable in pushing my limits."
When I went to work with Benizo I didn’t have that edge I was looking for. I felt reserved as a Teen and had seen he was able to bring out an inner fire in all the Miss and Teen he worked with. When you knew those girls and had seen their photos before Benizo always took them to knew levels. You wanted more. I wanted that.
